In this IELTS Writing Task 2 model answer analysis lesson, I take a quick look at a paragraph from a IELTS writing task 2 model answer. The source is Cambridge IELTS 9 and the topic of “sports facilities” and their relationship with health.
We look through some of the good things that the model answer does with each part of the writing scoring categories. Analyzing model answers is useful because it teaches you not only good language, but also other high-level writing techniques (that’s why I use it so much in IELTS Writing Weekly).
Improve your IELTS writing little by little and you will be on your way to a higher score.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
From Cambridge IELTS 9 (2013), pg. 167
Advocates of this believe that today’s sedentary lifestyle and stressful working conditions mean that physical activity is no longer part of either our work or our leisure time. If there were easy-to-reach local sports centres, we would be more likely to make exercise a regular part of our lives, rather than just collapsing in front of a screen every evening. The variety of sports that could be offered would cater for all ages, levels of fitness and interests: those with painful memories of PE at school might be happier in the swimming pool than on the football pitch.
Basic Analysis
Here are some of the main points in the video (I recommend you watch the video lesson).
- Task Response: There’s a very clear main idea in the topic sentence. Next are two idea extensions that explain the idea in more detail.
- Coherence and Cohesion: Look at the different ways of writing about the same topic (e.g. physical activity, sports centres, exercise, sports). Although this is vocabulary, it also improves the Coherence and Cohesion score of the essay.
- Lexical Resource: The vocabulary Cambridge uses in their sample paragraph is not too difficult. In fact, anyone aiming for a Band 7 or higher should know nearly all of the words on here. Rather than the level, it’s the vocabulary flexibility and precision that really make this IELTS Sample Answer stand out.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy: One easy way to see grammatical strength is to look at how consistent the sentences are. In this case, the hypothetical conditional is used very well (e.g. “If there were”, “would”, “could”, etc.). Being able to use such a tense accurately will be a great help in getting a higher IELTS writing score.
Action Step
Take a look at your own writing and compare the paragraph elements with this IELTS Writing Task 2 model answer. What kinds of words can you adopt in your own writing. Are there structures that might help you reach a higher level (e.g. hypothetical conditional)? Do your best to learn from the sample answer and make your own writing better.